another suicide note

i know you don’t want to read
this dusty, scribbled note
on a scrap of paper,
and pushed between the pages
of a notebook filled with similar scrawls
that don’t make sense to you.

i know you don’t want to feel
the prickling of tears,
as you read a snapshot
of words.
a window into the rhythm of my heart ,
the pulse of my mind

but please read it.
it may hold
the reasons why i cried,
the reasons i had such
downcast eyes ,
or at the very least
a reason.

the weight of living
sometimes pulls me
into the deeper waters
of what it means to be human.
the ugliness and quick joy,
the scars that never quite fade.

and if you read my words,
remember my quick smile,
my bright angry eyes,
and the way i whispered
into the crook of your neck
in the darkness.

remember my loud laughter
and the way i always
chewed the end of my braid.
and how i loved to sing
off key nonsense
just to make you smile.

remember how fiercely i loved,
how desperately i cried
when i couldn’t save a baby bird
exiled from its nest.

remember the laughter
and the tears.
through all the years
that our lives walked
the same path.

my messy, dreamy days.
and the way i said your name.


3 thoughts on “another suicide note

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